natalieee // linGz.


.ilu* lizhao =) #

`c0ng ni shen shang, w0 xue hui shen me shi ai yu bei ai..
dan ye ying er ni, w0 z0ng yu lia0 jie shen me shi shi wang__

:+: diz w0unds wun seem tuh heal.
diz pain iz juz tuh real.
derez juz tuh much
tt tum cann0t eraze..:+:


*wishuponastar*

*levis jeans`
*n0kia 8250 / 3610`
*hair highlights`
*n0n-denim skirt`
*m0re t0ps`
*c0nverse highcut peace chucks`
*new earph0nes`
*t0te bag



_i wanna be a better pers0n..
n0 matter how much it hurts*


Monday, June 21, 2004

gosh.. i dreamt of so much stuff yesternite sia. hahaha. first i dreamt that i was taking part in a cooking competition -.-" wth ~ and guess wad i was intending to cook ? fried wantons n onion omelette, n english breakfast tea. funny like hell lo.. lol ~ somemore da omelette is da 3rd yr in a row i was preparing that for da competition, and ive nv won. d0tx.
then after that, another dream.. i was at this place.. an island ? with wen i think.. then that island was some sort of amusement park bah.. after that wen n mi were just standing near a stall talking lo.. then also Ren Shi le da ppl in charge of that stall, then got a particular guy i really enjoyed talking to ? gerald i think.. hmm.. after that we wanted to go le, then went da jetty(?)there. da boats so funny ? got numbers de, maciam buses lidat. 906, 168 blah blah. somemore da routes rite, is bus de route.. ehh ? haha. then we stand there look at da directory to see which boat to take, and then i said to wen "i think ive forgotten something.." she asked wad, n i replied "ask for his number !" lolss. crazee dream.. then mi n wen went back da stall there lor, then i use gerald's hp miss-call mine ? actually a lotta stuff happened in between, but i too lazee to say le. haha.
then when i woke up, i was thinking lo.. how come i dreaming also dream of this kinda things ? as in, ask guy's number all these.. since now im with niu, i shldnt be thinking abt other guys rite. but prob is.. this aint a gd relationship. wad im gonna continue saying will make mi sound like a bitch, so u can choose not to read it. ok here goes..

it doesnt even feel like im in a relationship. its like, i just dont have da feeling at all ? i dont feel safe n happie n cared for. to mi, this relationship is just another thing, no big deal. cos we aint acting like steads at all ? we seldom have da chance to go out, cos his work schedule n mine clashes. see each other at work also like whatever. theres just no sparks lor.. and we`d always run outta things to say. and what is most impt to mi in a guy, he doesnt have it. sweetness. i think he doesnt even noe mi much ? i need someone who noes how to pamper mi.. noes wad i like to do, wad i dun like.. and no, niu just doesnt fit da bill ? haizz. sometimes i just wonder, why do i even get into relationships at all when none ever lasts. i think i`ll hafta break this off with niu soon if i keep feeling like this..


twinkling*stars @ 1:49 PM