natalieee // linGz.
.ilu* lizhao =) #
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
Friday, December 31, 2004
hmm. evening went town with wen to rot.. haha. got stuck in a massive jam on da way there. bleah. then straitskitchen opened alrdy ! too bad i cant ask yet.. haiss. idiert sakura.. lol =X cos they short of staff then want mi to work 2wks fulltime for em til they find someone else.. d0tx. as usual, i stoopidly agreed laa.. -.-"
then bought da tics for Meet da Fockers 11.40pm show, for which lizhao n i wld be watching cos scared da tics sold out. haha. kiasu =X hmm.. basically we rotted all over orchard laa. til 11pm lidat then wen had to go. then met with lizhao n went to watch da show lo. cooL show.. but abit da erm.. yellow ? =S
when da show ended, he just suddenly popped da ques u noe.. i really didnt noe how to react manz. then just sorta avoided da ques.. hahx. evil mi. then ate at somerset there, n went walking arnd orchard.. til too bored, decided to try walking to bugis.. then from bugis walked to suntec, and on to esplanade n merlion park. dont u find it amazing ? haha. we actually spent da whole night walking arnd town.. moreover we didnt even noe which way to bugis, just relied on our instincts n simply walked. hurhur. stood at da jetty ? or wadever u call that. wanted to watch da sunrise.. but there was simply too much clouds. it was raining on n off da whole nite ! luckily i had a jacket.. haha. but still got wet laa.. moreover i wore heels u noe. duno how i survived da walking..
went home 7+am. took 700.. then.. was thinking alot laa. asked him if he wld regret.. but he said no. soo.. i finally decided to give us a try. just hope it wont turn out to be a huge mistake ? im really scared that i wont be a gd gf n always make him unhappy.. cos u noe my temper aint all that good.. and plus all thats happened in da past ? just really really insecure laa..
but anw. came home bathed, swallowed da big bowl of noods mom bought, n rushed out again. but !! idiert ! made mi so rushed for nth ! cos sposed to meet pikong they all n go braddell there for volunteery work for da tsunami victims, help to pack clothes n wadever.. then meet at cck go tgt. n they were late -.-" esp eddie !! sooo late. haha.
first reaction of going into da SPH carpark was.. "OMG. really chaotic." lol. it was really really messy ! bundles of clothings n stuff all over da place.. worked hard with may n wen. was so shag ! somemore it was like, outside was raining so heavily.. n we were actually prespiring ? d0tx. finally decided to go off at 3+pm.. on da trip home i was really so stoned.. haha.
then lizhao actually came down to da busstop specially to send mi home ! aww. tts just so sweet can.. =)
t0nite new yr eve countdown.. maybe going east coast with wen n cin ? not confirmed yet.. but if thats da case, wont get to spend much time with darl le.. hmm. see how it goes la.. da most i sacrifice my slp some more.. drink kopi. haha =X can get rdy to be zombiefied again manz.. eeks !
okayy. gonna go bathe now. feel so sticky all over.. ew. after bathing maybe gonna spend time with darl first.. if not i really duno wad plans im having tonite. b0o !
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
and yet ? that silly lizhao.. refuses to give up. haiss. i really dont wish to see history repeating itself all over again.. dont wanna keep thinking of how much i hurt jinnie in da past each time i look at lizhao. i dont want him to get hurt, cos i noe im not worth it. hes a gd guy, he deserves so much better. stop history repeating.. is that possible ?
yes. if i revert back to who i was last time.
but i dont want to.
da wisest thing to do now wld be to keep my distance. but hes really being so sweet n nice to mi.. i cant bear to. no matter wad i do, hes gonna get hurt.. yet da only road which can spare him from pain, i refuse to take cos of my foolish phobia.
wadahell is this manz ? feel so so tired suddenly.. sobz.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
after that they all went home, i went back bP. at first was under lizhao`s blk cos i pangseh-ed him to go timah supper with em.. so wanted to look for him laa. but he was still over in greenridge so i decided to go over ksl first.. who noes ? i met yilong on da way there ! why always so Qiao, see him wherever i go ! hahaha. then sat at da steps talking.. til lizhao came over. then yilong went home.. and we went walking again. hahx. this time went zw hse that playgrnd.. cos got swings. swing til my butt hurts siaa ~ lol. til abt 4am.. n it started drizzling. i wanted to go home cos it was too cold.. bleh.
well.. ive clarified things with him alrdy. at least now he noes how i feel abt rships n everything. but he still said he`d wait even after mi saying there`re plenty more gers out there who`re better than mi n blah blah.. da sms he sent was really sweet u noe..
"feeling isnt a thing that will be da same to others.. even if there is, they may or may not be mine.. for wad i noe for now.. theres u.. n i dont wanna miss it out for sure as i dont wanna regret for da rest of mi life for not trying n perservering lor.. i want no regrets in my life.. Dong Ma ? =) for mi, yes.. u are gd enough for mi to wait wor.. =)"
when i saw that, i was really so touched ~ n guilty too. yet another one whos gonna waste his time n energy on mi.. haiss. i noe da right thing to do now is to cut off all contact with him in order for him to Si Xin.. but. i dont have da heart to do so. i aint da yiling i was 2yrs ago, when i`d just do that without a hesitation. and hes treating mi so gd.. i really cant find da heart to isolate him. wad am i doing ?? ive no idea.
just hoping that no matter da outcome, we`d still be gd frens. tts all i want.
Monday, December 27, 2004
oook.. then continue where i left off laa. rotted with cin n wen at cck mrt station like i said, during which jorge came join us awhile n went off home. manz, that was da greatest rotting session of all time. haha. from 11+ to 2+.. whoosh. moreover kept taking pics with my phone.. created one album within that few hrs ! aint we powerful ? hurhur.
then took NR3 to cine to meet lizhao n co. wahh when da bus went past taka there.. i was so shocked. da floor was so littered n dirty !!! ew. all da spray cans n boxes everywhere.. all over da place ! when i saw da scene, cldnt help shaking my head. haha. it really was disgusting, da way singaporeans are. really pity da poor cleaners.. tsk tsk.
met with em, watched Kung Fu Hustle. when i went into da theatre, my first reaction was.."all these ur frens ar ?? so many !" l0lx. then Stephen Chow was so darn cute. during fighting also can cheat.. step on ppl`s feet -.-" cheapshot ! haha. hilarious show ~
after da show, a big bunch of em took cab home.. while mi, lizhao, weichun ?, joe n derrick went crown prince hotel de swensens ! wahaha. my Lao Di Fang lehh ~ =) but didnt eat much laa. only 3 of us had icecreams. then took 190 home..
slpt for abt 5hrs ? had to wake up n go start my new job. hyatt banquet ! xmas day ! pui* =X met xiaokang, ahman n ahyen n went together. then ahman n ahyen sooo slow n kanchiong when changing. lolz. cant blame laa, i was blur last time too. hmm.. then signed in at banquet office. we almost got lost finding da office ! luckily had a backlane guy gave us directions. hehee.
aww.. then we got separated to diff rooms ! bleah. i got stuck on da first floor, Sir Stamford Raffles room. captain was Ivan, with Nathan helping. 2 bigbig arseholes !! =X ivan talks like mr wee.. his normal tone of talking is alrdy shouting. n was he ever fierce ! when i heard him give da briefing, my first thought was "SHIT!". hahaha. then i got in charge of a table with a neighbor to guide mi alone nia. really shitty ! my first day there n i had to take care of a table.. hrmph. soooo busy u noe. run like mad trying to get wad da guests want. n nathan n ivan still arnd in da food area criticising/scolding. idierts ! ohh.. then uncle vincent was da bartender ! hohoho. miss da cafe peeps ! during breaktime met Stanley Da Ge ! he took mi down to da new cafe n tour. haha. cafe renamed to StraitsKitchen le. eeee ~ then da whole place changed so much ! when i went in i didnt recognise it anymore.. sobz. i want da old cafe back.. with all da old fulltimers n chefs =(
then end of da wedding dinner, had lecturing session by da 2 idierts >.<" keep taking turns to kill us. d0tx. not our fault da dessert was served late what.. blame it on da guests eating so slow. then tahan da scoldings.. n then ivan wanted us to stay til 12.30am ? altho he gave us a choice whether to stay or leave, cld tell he was really buay song abt a bunch of us leaving. finally signed out n received my pay that time, heaved a huge sigh of relief. finally its over ! got 42 bucks.. man.. first time ever that i worked til so Bu Shuang. haha.
took NR3 home with them 3.. went ksl for supper with xiaokang. whole day didnt eat u noe ! i was starving like mad. thats why my temper was so bad. haha. realised that fact during work. hmm.. then after eating, xiaokang went home n i waited for lizhao lo.. hes weird. came over specially to send mi home. lol. but really appreciated it anyway =]
then 26thDec. boxing day. went work again, altho i was really reluctant. only thing which kept mi going was da thought of da $$ n that if either mi or xiaokang got ivan as captain, we`d just leave hyatt together. attitude siaa ~ haha. but nahh.. we { mi, xiaokang, ahman, wen, ahyen n liming } got sent to Grand Ballroom. it was hell ! had turning over of room, n nathan cut short our break ! my hand was like jelly man.. smsing also had difficulty doing so. hand was shaking like hell. gosh.
didnt get put in charge of any tables.. instead, mi, wen, pohchoo n joanna were sposed to take care of da beverages of all da tables instead. hehee. much better than da day before larr. much much better. altho seeing da others so poor thing, rushing abt to get da food. hah. at da end of da dinner, i still helped to clear some tables.. n da lazee susans too. lazee susan is da thing in da middle of da table which u put ur food on n then turn round de laa. hmm.. actually we wanted to stay n help clear n set up da ballroom.. but our captains didnt allow. sathiya ??? n jeff. nathan was being extra laa.. as usual =X
after work. got 42bucks again. really not worth it man.. worked so hard n all i got was measly 84. hrmph ~ how am i ever gonna finish repaying my debts.? blehs. then ahyen dad sent us home lo.. cos no NR, moreover cabfare was ex.
met lizhao n went phoenix for supper. poor guy, waited for mi to reach bP til he was nearly falling asleep. hohoho. wanted to walk there, but til 177A n i was too lazee. so took cab. ate prawn mee ! yeah. then walked back to bP =) duno how i got da energy to do so too. lolss. went 114 that playgrnd n talk cock lo. hmm.. n then everything just felt like a dream. shant say too much on this.. gonna keep it in mi heart =D
finally slpt at 7am.. then woke up at 3. n then went back n slpt til 5+. sakura didnt call mi abt this wk`s schedule ! aww. thats sad.
well.. not to sound bigheaded.. but i think lizhao kinda has feelings for mi ? n im not so sure how i feel abt that. i mean, hes being veh sweet to mi n all.. but im not sure i wana step into another rship again. im still being haunted by all my past failed rships n most imptly wad happened on a certain night. haiss.. stop playing arnd with my life for once god ! cant u lemme live a simple life peacefully without all these stuff happening..
Friday, December 24, 2004
after supper, went 7-11 there. lizhao forced mi drink da coconut drink ? says its cooling for da body. in da end, i drank porridge, one barley, n one coconut drink ! gee. Shui Tong. hahaz. then when lizhao was buying da drinks that time, i saw this black&white kittie outside 7-11. in da end went in n bought cat food for it. hehee. been so long since i fed a cat.. had such a warm feeling inside. aww. i miss ahmew so muchx.
then went walking arnd bP.. haha. cos i was feeling veh full, then didnt wanna go home n slp yet. wanted to go enew hse there that playgrnd.. but got monsters =X no laa, actually was a couple of peeps down there. so in da end went 30th floor ! hurhur. then went walking to greenridge there, n cut thru to da canal there. sat on da steps nearby enjoying da breeze. saw so many ahpehs early in da morning brisk walking arnd da canal. healthy manz ! unlike mi.. so lazee. hohoho.
arnd 5+ then went home. hahx. slpt like a pig ! til 3pm lidat ? woken up by smses. gosh. cant even lemme slp in peace >.<" then 4pm, met ahbing at busstop n went work together.. saw yilong on da bus again -.-" with kimsen, they were going work. think yilong`s spying on mi. haha ! jk ~
then tody i worked at Maison de Fontaine. 10bucks per hr ! woohoo. actually sposed to work 6-11pm.. but we reached there early, started work at 5pm. da ppl who eat there were so high class manz ! made mi so scared to walk thru da rooms. lol. only up n down da corridor, duno wad da heck i was doing too larr =X i was so blur today.. hehee. first days of work will forever blur.. bleahs. but not bad, i think im quite friendly today xP really ! cos normally first days of work, i`ll just keep to miself n focus on learning everything instead. but today i actually initiated conversations with da ppl there ! aintcha proud of mi ? =D
worked til 9pm only. aww. cos it was pretty empty ? da incharge still said, its a disappointing night. think they were expecting more ppl to come cos its xmas eve. so only 40bucks.. but i dont mind =] one step closer to settling my debts. hehee. if possible i wanna reutrn all da money i owe before new yrs day. cos i dont wanna start a new year owing ppl stuff.. later bad luck =X lolss.
then later going mn show with lizhao, ahbing n their frens. hmm.. watching Kung Fu Hustle at cineleisure, 3.30am show. gosh ~ duno why they chose such a timing. tml i still need work manz.. starting work at hyatt banquet. shit ! haha. gonna be blur all over again. been going thru so many first days of work lately ehh ? but gd news is, at least ive ahyen they all to pei mi blur. hurhur !!
going off now tho. joining cin n wen to rot at lot1.. til 2+ then im going over to cine. hahx. gonna rot like hell ! wheee ~ merryxmas !
Thursday, December 23, 2004
well yesterday evening met jorge at westmall, cos he wanted to buy a jar to contain stars. met yilong on da bus sia ~ hurhur. he was going to work.. at IMM there nearby safra or something ? duno laa. same as mi, work 2 jobs. siaokias ! =D
haha. then reached there.. jorge was late !! by half an hr. hrmph. make mi wait so long.. baddie ~ then after buy da jar, walked arnd westmall abit.. after which took mrt to yewtee cos i wanted to go da pasar malam. hehe. reached there le went food court eat first.. only i eat laa. jorge didnt, only ate da dessert which we shared. then walked pasar malam.. haha. last time i went pasar malam, always liked to hang arnd da hp covers stall tempting myself.. now no more ! LoLzz. actually is can laa.. if someone gimme a 8250 or 3610 for xmas pressie. *hint hint* 2nd hand only 100 for both phones =P
then went jorge`s hse rot. learnt how to fold stars ! my first attempt was so disastrous ! lolz. is not use paper fold one lehh.. use straw u noe ! fun ~ then played dai dee with jorge n his sis. his sis kept winning ~ >.<" keke then xiaokang called mi. asked mi go rot with him, wen n cin. so i went back bP join em..
met em at 7-11. first thing they asked mi was, do i noe anything 18 or above ? haha. cos they wanted to buy vodka but we`re all underage. but da bP peeps over at orchard playing pool.. then called Da Bing. lolx. altho he was at bpplaza but he didnt have i/c, so he sent lizhao down. hehe. then he down there saying we this kinda age drink wad alcohol.. blehs. Zhi Dao le, Lao Bo ~ =PpPp
bought le went up to 183A. my first bottle of vodka ! wahaha. see ? im a good girl k. 16yrs went past til yesternite that i finally drank my first bottle. hurhur. but i drank le, altho didnt feel faint or anything.. my face was all red ! gosh. luckily at carpark noone see, only da 3 of em. haha. stoopid heridity shiit =X cos my family, anyone drinks alcohol.. face will red, but nth happen. hmm.. then drank finish our 4bottles.. felt that it wasnt enough. But ! that lizhao.. think he purposely MIA.. haha. call him didnt ans phone. so called aaron.. =D ive got such gd frens. lolxx.
went back up da carpark.. gt Long Isle Tea, Jim Bean, that blue liquid, n erm. wad was da last one ? =X told ya my memory was bad. haha. da long isle tea was.. ewww !! n to think cin still said it was sweet ? weird tastebuds. lolz. then 12mn le, happie bday xiaokang !!! hahaha.
after that sent cin to ksl, cos aaron was there n he was sposed to send her home. awww.. thanks basket ! lol. then went back home.. online awhile n i went to slp le. hehee.. first time i slpt soooo soundly !! thanx to da vodka. haha. cured my insomnia manz..
then morning.. woke up went work. 5pm off work ! yay. came home n slpt ! woot. slp til 9+ woke up.. hurhur. pig panda =X
Sunday, December 19, 2004
nah i didnt take bus home today. instead, yan bro sent mi home on his phantom ! hurhur. altho i dont really like phantom, but wadevaa ! its still a bike ! hahaha. when riding that time, suddenly struck by da image of da time i spent da night at cafe n xiaoQiang sent mi home. awww. still rmb that time he wore a denim jacket.. and when it flapped in da wind, da idiert metal buttons keep hitting my hands ! -.-" really really miss xiaoQiang so muchiex ! loll. of cos n ahTian n ahGong n all da other cafe chefs ! =D but xiaoQiang da most larr xP
anyway. i got sidetracked yeah. i was saying. yan bro sent mi home.. yan bro actually is da owner of lake aquarium at ginza laa.. but his kinda age, call uncle also weird.. so i just refer to him as yan bro. haha. guess how we knew each other ? cos a few times i delivered food to da shop.. n da rest as they say, is history =]
hmm. actually today went work darn shag. cos cin n mi ton at wen`s hse yesternite.. til today morning then went home. but by da time i finally fell aslp was alrdy 8+am ? slp for abt 2hrs n then had to wake up go work.. sooo tired that i fell asleep on da bus again ! luckily i woke up just one stop before my stop. lolz.. if not gonna end up in harborfront ~ o0ps.
this entry kinda jumbled up huh.. haha. cos i just wrote wadever came to mind.. and tts why da topic wld take an abrupt change halfway thru.
if envying is a sin.. i`d be in hell by now.
Friday, December 17, 2004
then yesterday n today rotted at home larr.. trying to pia My Date With A Vampire. haha. niceee show !
oh yarr. ever since da chalet ive been smsing guangwen lo. hmm. then he abit farnie u noe.. cos in da first place, he was da one who Jue Jiao with mi last time.. then now that we`re talking again, hes saying he regret not wooing mi last time, so now he Xiang Tong le, gonna jio mi. its like.. wadahell ? wads going on laa. wait all da way til now when i have no feelings for him anymore to tell mi this. wads da point manz ? he hurt mi before.. im not giving him da chance to hurt mi again. we`re just frens n frens we`ll remain. im not interested in rships anymore.. cos even tho ive gotten over wad happened with erhum.. i guess i`ll forever question my own judgement in ppl.
- u can be my bad boy. be my man. be my weekend lover but dont be my fren. i dont need you in my life again - GrooveCoverage
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Tues Dec14th. worked 12-5pm.. and my eyes were killing mi ! not enough slp, then sooo painful ! haha. after work went home.. reached home only at 6pm -.-" then went over to da chalet again.. gosh. my poor poor ezlink.
reached da chalet at abt 8+pm. then only xuanting n pikong were in da chalet.. hehe. waiting for mi laa, while da others went dE to eat.. =X so honoured ~ lol. kkz then when i reached, we went over too. went kfc eat.. then xuanting so poor thing. he had 3 ulcers, then he eat til veh Xing Ku. haha. i noe da feeling man ~
after that went back chalet rot.. n rot.. n rot. bleah. actually this chalet also nth much to talk abt ? just keep on rotting with da e2 peeps.. thats all. haha. oh yes. i exchanged phone with xuanting for one nite !! hehehe. 3610. rawks manz ! =X down there using da picture editor draw xuanting`s name.. haha. simply lurve 3610 n 8250 ! ^^
morning arnd 8am ? went off earlier with wen n may. came home slpt for abt 5hrs ? then woke up get rdy to go hyatt.. cos wen going for interview for da banquet. then i also wanna work too ! lol. need $$. in da end.. all of us got chosen ! there was mi, ahman, liming, ahyen, wen, xiaokang n jiesheng. haha. nice manz ~ then working nxt sat n sun.. >.<" xmas u noe. sobz. but i guess it doesnt really matter ? not as if im gonna celebrate xmas.
after that went fareast ljs eat.. then took 190. da others went home, i went ksl la kopi with da bP peeps again. lol. finally joined em ~ past few nites keep flying planes cos too busy. haha. ohh.. then i found out. lanie jie`s Tang Di is jing ?? goshh. i was so shocked. da world is really too small.. haha.
xiaoQiang rawks !!
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
sunday 12/12. worked 5-10pm.. BUT. we finished cleaning n everything earlier, so got to go off at 9.30pm instead. hehee. da bao-ed mui fan that nite. then went over ksl to join da gang. hmm. then they down there chugging e33. haha. gross manz. or maybe i just duno how to appreciate alcoholic drinks n da likes. but lanie jie n jas drink da vodka ice..? quite nice ohh. lol.
forgot wad time i went off. hmm. slpt a few hrs.. set alarm to wake at 11, cos supposedly meeting da e2 ppl 1pm at pasir ris mrt. but i was late =X hahaha. yet guess wad ? xuanting, wugui, joseph, yilong n pikong were late too.! they were on da same train as mi. haha. accidentally met em on da train at city hall.
then met with da others at pasir ris station. oh yar. pasir ris there got pasar malam !! wahhh. i wanna eat manz.. but.. $$. lol. everything i do nowadays, da first thing i consider is $$. so poor thing rite ? kk then went over to da chalet.. aiyo da sun was darn high n bright n HOT. & i was wearing a black shirt !! awww. absorbing heat.
late noon time rotted at downtown east. haha. went da food court to makan, then walked around abit. went arcade. eddie cheated at da bball game -.-" so d0tx. this kinda thing also wanna cheat. haha. after that went beach with ahman, wen, enew n meili. saw a few dead fishes.. and da empty shell of a horseshoe crab. oh yes. n a sotong !! LoL. all decaying.. gross.
5+ we went back to prepare da stuff for da bbq while da rest of da peeps were still at da beach. are we abit antisocial ? lol. always going off by ourselves. okaaay. then finally bbq time. spent quite a long time setting up da fire as usual. hah. i was in charge of da satay !! wheee. happily bbq-ing da satay n a few hotdogs. but i only got to eat abt 4 of da satay ? n 2 hotdogs ? haha. pathetic. but i dont mind laa.. altho da smoke irritated my eyes til i was tearing. bleah.
abt nearing 11 finally went off. omg i stink ! lolx. smell of da charcoal smoke n bbq food. ew. on train that time realised i still had xuanting`s watch n da necklace on mi. hahaha. o0ps ~ then cck there switched to lrt.. to bangkit. da bao-ed food up to kelvin cos jb said not to bring him down. after which i came home lo..
later working 12-5pm. super shagg !! hah. cos after work im going over to da chalet again. might be staying overnite.. still considering laa. then now my right arm so jelly.. cos nearing da end of da bbq i kept fanning da fire. aww.
today met 2 of da 4e2 teachers. miss tan, form teacher. n mr koh.. duno teach wad laa. but got along okay with em =) mr koh still toast mashmallows for mi ! haha. so gd of him ~
but anyway ! im gonna go off to catch wadever rest i can now. if not im really gonna faint during work.. on 2nd tots. i wont. wont forget that first day of work n i went nite cycling laa. haha. didnt slp at all.. moreover worked whole day. cant believe how i actually survived ~ okok. im going. bye.
Friday, December 10, 2004
well. first went ta da HP building there ta get money from aaron. aww.. i hate borrowing money man. hate da feeling of owing ppl.. bleahs. got da money from him, then headed down ta commonwealth mrt to meet with junning, cos hes accompanyin mi to remake my ic. hehe.
hmm. waited darn long there. omg then i had ta take da photo.. ew ! cos da person said my fringe was covering my eyebrow.. then he had mi pin it up. oh gosh. look so goondu-ed. heh then da person interviewed mi.. asked mi how i lost my ic. i said i took my dog swimming at sentosa and then my whole bag got stolen ! o0ps. then also said im a student like lanie jiejie told mi to. in da end.. only had to pay 60bucks instead of 100 ! woohoo. thankie jiejie !! hurhurhur.
after that, took mrt to orchard to meet junning`s fren stephen. think today all da transportation having grudge against mi n junning. lol. keep taking their darn own sweet time to come. hmm.. anw stephen looks like a cross between guoyuan n jimmy ? =X keke.. then rotted all over orchard. went ta far east shopping centre n watched em playing arcade. hahah. til 8pm.. went over ta wisma. cos swiss winds having a charity performance there.. after tt went home. nearly kena banged by bike.. LoL. cos i ran across da road without looking both sides.. looked only one side =X
now left ezlink n atm. yeah ~
hmm. then i discovered something.. i cant go to orchard around xmas times. somehow all da xmas decorations n everything will produce this sad sad feeling inside of mi. when i see all da decorations, something inside mi feels so wretched. so alone. BUT.. im just weird. so.. oh well.
nxt wk 13, 14, 15th Dec gonna have e2 chalet at pasir ris.. haha. im still trying to decide whether to go. cos yesternite online, i was in a conference with some of da e2 ppl.. and i realised, we`ve really drifted veh veh far apart. there were so many moments of silences. somehow i cant communicate well with em anymore.
i noe, its my fault for quitting sch n entering da society sooner. ive even prepared myself for this, knowing that after i dropout.. i can nv be as close with em anymore. but knowing all these doesnt lessen da pain inside. i look at all their graduation hitea photos, and im struck with this sense of envy. i can nv fully fit in with em again. im afraid that if i do turn up for da chalet, and we again keep running outta things to talk abt.. it`d really break my heart u noe.? i`d much prefer to keep my memories of da days we were so united together, and my fragile illusions that things are fine.
shut up. just shut up.
shld i go for da chalet then ? arGh.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
but im so so broke now. those $30+ were all i had left man. sad. hmm. no choice gotta owe ppl money again larr.. still owe mi bro 30bucks too. wonder when i`ll ever clear my debts. gonna spend christmas cashless. hahaha. gonna spend new yr day cashless too. until Jan 3rd, whichs payday. aww shuckss. so long away !
if only i cld go back to last time when i got an extra 100bucks every mth from vin. haha. fat hope la. anw he has no reason to gimme money anymore.. since he gotten over mi n everything. i hope tml when im going to work i`ll pick up a 50bucks note. wahaha. yiling. stop dreaming !
im hooked to Kiss From A Rose. hehehe. i think im going abit insane again.
Sunday, December 05, 2004
fri nite after work.. went jb`s grandma de funeral lo. hmm. my first time going songkah =X took 189 from ginza to westmall there.. then walked over to blk169 where da songkah was held. then.. joined jb n his 2 frens.. after awhile then da rest of da bp gang came. haha oh ya. i da bao-ed mee goreng that night.. so spicy !! gosh. nxt time dont dare eat le.. hahahah. then arnd 12+ or 1am, we left lo. walked home.. heheh. guess whos bright idea it was ? =X urs truly. jin paiseh lehh.. everyone walked with mi. aiyo. tot i wanted to walk alone de mahh.. in da end everyone pei mi. blehs.
kkz. then reached home. msn chat.. then pia gb with kev n cy. haha. idiert game. miss da days of IncisioN man.. thrashing everyone. even xiaoxu3. hoho. played til 6+am ? then i was too tired le. went msn rot.. chatted with kev. then 8am lidat. kena pulled out to breakfast.. -.-" omg i was soooo seh le can. haha. i think i walked with my eyes closed or sumth.. too tired.
ate at 257 there.. n i didnt even manage to finish my meepok. oops. sorrie children of africa ~ =\ after that went kev hse.. cos he said wanted to tidy up his room. asked mi help. but guess wad ? in da end i fell asleep there. hahhaha. by da time i woke up was 6.30 alrdy ! d0tx. cannot blame la. i really too tired ~ past few days didint get enough slp cos of work. but arnd noon i woke up to make a call to sakura la, lied to em saying my grandma hospitalised n i cldnt go to work =X stayed there til 11+pm lo. lol ~
came home slpt at 1.30am lidat.
ehh im gonna be late if i dont leave for work soon. bye.
anw im working now yes, at ginza plaza de S Family Restaurant. sakura lai de la. haha.