natalieee // linGz.


.ilu* lizhao =) #

`c0ng ni shen shang, w0 xue hui shen me shi ai yu bei ai..
dan ye ying er ni, w0 z0ng yu lia0 jie shen me shi shi wang__

:+: diz w0unds wun seem tuh heal.
diz pain iz juz tuh real.
derez juz tuh much
tt tum cann0t eraze..:+:


*wishuponastar*

*levis jeans`
*n0kia 8250 / 3610`
*hair highlights`
*n0n-denim skirt`
*m0re t0ps`
*c0nverse highcut peace chucks`
*new earph0nes`
*t0te bag



_i wanna be a better pers0n..
n0 matter how much it hurts*


Thursday, September 09, 2004

guess whatt ?? its 10.30AM and im actually awake ! oh gosh..

anyhoos. yesterday late afternoon, joined cin at woodlands lib. cos she say study alone veh boring, then ask mi pei her.? but then she doing her work that time, i also dont dare talk much. hahaz. just cos da o lvls are none of mi concern anymore doesnt give mi a right to prevent others from studying.. so i just quietly read mi storybk lo.

then went dinner at pastamania.. after that went round n round in cwp lo. then took 960 to bpplaza, went macs. she study n i read mi bk again. lol. after that 10+ lidat pack bag everything. but still sit there.. cos both too lazee to move. hoho. after that received call from junhong.. awhile later he n wansheng came join us.

hmm.. when macs closed, went phoenix kpt rot lo. then da two guys.. omg lorr. so lame. bleahx. sit there rot n crap til 2. then walked home with sheng. cin went with jh, cos they both live teck whye. during da walk home, sheng asked if i really not intending study anymore ? somemore still say.. he feels that i actually have da ability to study de, just that i dunwan.

weeeelll.. maybe so. but.. my heart really cant take it anymore.. u noe ? each time i mugged so hard for exams, i end up with disappointment. each paper i failed, its like another blow to my already battered soul. so why not just save da few hundred bucks n cast out o lvls altogether ? cos if i took em.. n failed.. im just scared of da pain i`d go thru. n on top of that, i still need to witness my frens jumping with joy with their straight A s results ? i wont be able to deal with all that.. call mi a coward. but i`d prefer to just avoid everything n live mi own life.

i dont regret wad i did. its been 8mths n i havent once thought of going back. and i noe i wont regret in da future either, no matter wad ppl might think. this is my life, i live it da way i want it. if by chance next time i shld fail.. then thats my problem. i wont blame anyone. trust mi.

anyway, if i hadnt dropped out.. i wldnt have met all those wonderful ppl who looked after mi so well da past half year. hyatt cafe rawks ! =D

later going down to queensway with cin. hope i dont spend too much.. since im still jobless now -.-" i need a job ! haha.


twinkling*stars @ 10:24 AM