natalieee // linGz.


.ilu* lizhao =) #

`c0ng ni shen shang, w0 xue hui shen me shi ai yu bei ai..
dan ye ying er ni, w0 z0ng yu lia0 jie shen me shi shi wang__

:+: diz w0unds wun seem tuh heal.
diz pain iz juz tuh real.
derez juz tuh much
tt tum cann0t eraze..:+:


*wishuponastar*

*levis jeans`
*n0kia 8250 / 3610`
*hair highlights`
*n0n-denim skirt`
*m0re t0ps`
*c0nverse highcut peace chucks`
*new earph0nes`
*t0te bag



_i wanna be a better pers0n..
n0 matter how much it hurts*


Thursday, September 30, 2004

i duno why i just cant be bothered anymore. its like i have no interest in anything whatsoever. i remember da times when i loved art, n studying, n writing. i look back n i think, "who was that ? where did she go ?" im not mi anymore. im no longer da person i was during p4, p6 or even just a yr ago.

i duno how to describe this feeling. its as if i just woke up n realised my soul, my spirit, is gone. that enthusiasm in which i do things.. its gone. nowadays, im just living on a routine of slp, eat. and maybe work. but theres gotta be so much more to life than this aint it ?

i just feel so numb inside. its like nth can surprise mi anymore. ive seen more than i wanted of this world. so much so that it just washes over mi. i know i shldnt feel this way. after all, im only 16. i have more than half my life to go. but, wads da point exactly ?

i once told miself, my aim in life is to make sure that im happie n that when i die, i`ll die with no regrets. is that even a proper aim ? all arnd mi, ppl are aspiring to be doctors, musicians n da likes. wheras for mi.. where do i stand ? 10yrs down da rd, where do i see miself ? i honestly do not know.

i know ive changed. n i know ive changed alot. believe mi, i miss Me too. but that yiling 5yrs ago is forever lost to da world. this girl in front of u right now, is just an empty body without a soul. i look at da past drawings i did, all those poems i wrote before.. n i really wonder. who am i now ? i wish i knew.

i feel like right now im just wasting away my time on earth, simply awaiting da day when death comes..


twinkling*stars @ 1:31 AM