natalieee // linGz.


.ilu* lizhao =) #

`c0ng ni shen shang, w0 xue hui shen me shi ai yu bei ai..
dan ye ying er ni, w0 z0ng yu lia0 jie shen me shi shi wang__

:+: diz w0unds wun seem tuh heal.
diz pain iz juz tuh real.
derez juz tuh much
tt tum cann0t eraze..:+:


*wishuponastar*

*levis jeans`
*n0kia 8250 / 3610`
*hair highlights`
*n0n-denim skirt`
*m0re t0ps`
*c0nverse highcut peace chucks`
*new earph0nes`
*t0te bag



_i wanna be a better pers0n..
n0 matter how much it hurts*


Wednesday, October 20, 2004

i just realised.. after all this time. ive nv been truly happie. maybe happie yeah, when im out with frens n all. i might be happie. but true happiness, thats something ive given up on.

if im to be totally honest, i dont think ive even been completely outta depression before. im only 16, and yet i dont see life as something worth living. ive no idea wad i wanna do in da future, wad im doing everyday. no goals, no aim, no frens, no life. thats da worst part.. no frens. ive nv connected with anyone before. wadever i feel or think, i`ll just bury it in mi.

thats da main reason why my relationships all failed in da past. because i refused to talk abt my thoughts n feelings. n they all got so frustrated that they just up n leave.

i noe its my fault. but shutting myself out from da world has become too normal for mi. theres simply no way i can open up to ppl.

im only 16, and im tired of life alrdy. each day passed is no big deal to mi. i just cant seem to see everything in colors instead of black n white. theres just no meaning to life anymore. wad happened to da yiling 4yrs ago. i miss myself so much manz.

just so sick of living.


twinkling*stars @ 5:06 AM