natalieee // linGz.
.ilu* lizhao =) #
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
Saturday, January 22, 2005
well anw. turned out ahpa had to work in da end yesterday.. so i got to slp a lil bit more laa. then late noon went meet darl during his break, after which went over scotts lounge to find liming cos i needed to get back da 30bucks from her. broke laa, no choice see ? haha. wads new rite ? im always broke. yupp then after that went walking to ps alone. nearing 7pm i went back fareast to find wen, xiaokang n liming. had such a hard time walking thru orchard manz.. so many ppl ! jeez. i really really loathe crowds.!
then joined em rotted at fareast awhile, then took 171 to bukit timah.. watched wen n xiaokang playing pool. didnt join in cos im simply not interested. then abt 10pm, we went cck n met with cin n junhong while liming went home. 5 of us sitting at da 302 kpt but only junhong eating. wahaha. after that took lrt to panjang n went wen hse da bbq there.. cos xiaokang`s n junhong`s frens having bbq there. then kpo kpo abit laa. so happening rite ? haha. da otah darn spicy sia ~ >.<
arnd 1+am, darl msged mi to ask if im going home soon. but by then its like ive only just been there awhile ? and his reply was so heartbreaking.. haiss. called him n we talked laa, but still feel that hes hiding his real feelings. or maybe im just thinking too much ? and i felt so so frickin guilty, cos cld hear da disappointment in his voice.. =( i mean, i noe its kinda a routine for us to meet during his break n after his work.. since hes now working fulltime n all. but.. its just this once. and he sounded so sad. i felt as if someone stuck a knife in my stomach n twisting it arnd manz. so guilty !
in da end, guilty til i felt so upset. walked with cin n junhong to teckwhye n sent em home before walking back to bukit panjang. think im really too weak, or maybe da sad compilation of songs i was listening to in my discman added to da frustrations inside.. but i just cldnt help it. da tears just came. haiss. weakling !! just cos of such a lil matter n im crying. useless idiert.!
then walked to 605.. climbed da stairs all da way up til da 30th floor. dont u find it amazing ? even now thinking back, i feel so proud of myself. its like, for someone whose only exercise i get nowadays is standing during work.. its really an accomplishment kay. actually around da 12th floor i alrdy wanted to give up n take da lift instead, but.. guess i was simply insane at that time. pushed on til i finally reached da 30th floor. legs were so darn wobbly then. haha. sat there feeling da breeze n appreciating da quietness. think abt 3.10am ? msged xiaokang n arranged to meet him under his blk in half an hr`s time.
talked to him abt wad i felt n all da other feelings whichs been cooped up for quite some time. actually i think maybe im really reading too much into everything ? reverting to da old habit of thinking too much. damn. but yeah, talking to xiaokang helped alot. thanks so much ! one day i`ll treat u big meal okie. really owe xiaokang too much Ren Qing le. think this lifetime also cant repay finish.. haha.
til 4.20am lidat, xiaokang went back. stopped by 7-11 awhile to buy a drink before heading home. walked so slowly. heh. guess i dont hafta say u also will noe laa. stoopid stairs. hahaha. okok, my fault i noe. who ask mi so dumb, got lift dont wanna take go take stairs rite ? yaya. shhh. told u i do crazee things when im upset. so hush up. not da first day u noe mi rite.
nitey.